Lessons learned...

It's been nearly a month and I'm earning my stripes.

Got stranded outside the City and managed to figure out how to get back into the zone.  Important skill.

Went "down the line," as my grandparents would say.  That's down the Peninsula for those of you from somewhere else or another generation.  [They also referred to the car "the machine."] 

Muni - Bart - Caltrain.  It works perfectly until you get off the Caltrain "down the line." 

The unfortunate reality is that it's not just Muni - Bart - Caltrain.  It's Muni - Bart - Caltrain - The Abyss. Sadly, when you get off the Caltrain, you are in the abyss of the burbs where you have a motor vehicle or you walk.  Or, like me, you have relatives who pick you up at the train station. :)

Again I say, it's a shame that we did not respond to the 9-11 tragedy by vowing to ween ourselves off our oil dependency.  Remember those emotional days of compassion when we treated one another with respect?  We were all ready to lock arms in fidelity to a worthy cause. 
My plan would have worked:

• Each family in America drive ONE motor vehicle to the nearest freeway and come to a stop in the fast lane.
• Nudge up to the bumper of the care ahead.
• Stand back while the rescue guys use the jaws of life to sever the top of the car off.
• Remain a safe distance as the dump truck fills the car with soil and compost.
• With your family, plant flowers in the car-planter.

We would have done it - all of us.  It would have been a beautiful thing.

Instead, we invaded a few countries.  Gas is insanely expensive.  And when you get off Caltrain down the line, you're ejected into the abyss.  Be sure to wear comfortable shoes.

More skills developed during the past not-quite-a-month:

CARRYING STUFF on transit vehicles:  I've boarded with a suitcase and managed to catch it before it rolled all the way down the aisle of the bus as we cruised up and down and around and around at uncomfortable speeds.  Managed to bring home a big bag of fun stuff and a shipping box, which I put together and lugged to the post office to send to some really awesome kids.  Did some food shopping and toted home cans and produce.  Cantaloupe does taste good enough to justify the WEIGHT.

FOUL WEATHER: I carry the accoutrements necessary to abide the lovely summer weather - namely fog, wind, drizzle, and yes, rain.  Dress for success got bumped by dress for comfort some years ago.  Now that's been eclipsed by dress for health. Rain hat, umbrella, rain jacket, gloves, woolen scarf, still do not prevent wet skirt/slacks.  Purchase of long rain coat is now a goal.   Continued strategic planning and reconniassance of attractive, utilitarian, and DRY bus stops is essential. 

CLIPPER CARD: God I love the thing.  It works everywhere.  Those Clipper Card box things are everywhere.  By next year there'll be one at the grocery - beep a pound of apples....beep  a six pack of Heineken....at the dentist's office - beep clean teeth...beep a root canal. Just load the card.

CROWDS: Not amusing to stand and sway back and forth as one with a busload of people you don't know.  What sport is that where they have a scrum?  People on a crowded bus scrum all the time.  

I'm learning that I actually DO know all those people on the bus. Being on a crowded bus with a bunch of people I "don't know" reminds me of a song 15 years or so back. Can't remember the artist - a woman.  "What if God was one of us, just a slob like one of us, just trying to find his way home."  Those people are just like me.

Including the guy trying to get his desk chair across the car tracks the other morning just a bit before 7:00 a.m.  He started out happy, which is how he first got the attention of everyone waiting around for muni.  Shouting with joy, "YES, YES, YES" he began pushing the newfound piece of furniture, loaded with personal items wedged between the handy arm rests, across the street.  Desk chair wheels do not interface well with streetcar tracks.

His mood didn't begin to go downhill until his fourth attempt - moving out into the street, hitting resistance and retreating back to the corner to psych up for another try.  It was on the fourth try that the desk chair went over and all the stuff went out and he lost it. 

He screamed "Fuck you! Leave me alone! Don't talk to me, I don't know you" to nobody in particular and everyone within earshot in general.
And all of us stood on the four corners watching him and listening to him but not one of us helped him as he picked up his stuff and managed to get to the other side of the street.

I was sad and disappointed in myself on my ride to work.

Skill building

Got to work in record time this morning and am beginning to feel like a public transportation pro. No doubt those feelings are premature.

I stood at the right corner this time - the one where the streetcar stops.

At my transfer point I had time to dash for a cup of coffee, thanks to the streaming arrival info on the electronic sign at the stop.  Yesterday broken glass adorned the sidewalk from the bashed advertising billboards.  But the perpetrators spared the electronic sign, thankfully for me and the happy folks at Donut World who made a few cents off my purchase. 

Great name.  Donut World. Imagine that.  A donut world.  Reminds me of Water World, easily one of the worst movies I've ever watched. A Donut World sequel could not possibly be worse.

I boarded the bus without being asked to dump the coffee.  Or get off the bus. Another victory.

And I got all the way riding on the bus, off the bus, through a two-block stroll and into the office without spilling a drop.  The skills are developing.

This afternoon I was "with car" again.  Drove a housemate to the airport and then myself and the car home.  I didn't find it annoying to drive but I think I was actually missing the muni. 

The car I drove home today needs a brake job.  But it's not my car.  Smile.

363 days to go!

I dropped my little car off yesterday morning.  On the drive, I felt excited and happy.  The paperwork was easy and the guy who helped with it was friendly, polite, and efficient - the trifecta of how to run a successful business.

As I prepared to leave, I thought it would be nice to take a picture and send it out to those who knew where I was and what I was doing.  Strange that when I found the car parked against a wall and took the photo, I began to feel sad.  Again attempting to follow my feelings I asked myself about those feelings.  Actually my sarcastic self asked my sensitive self, "Oh please, you're not feeling all sad and weepy about a car, are you?"

And I had to answer myself that, as a matter of fact, that's exactly what I was feeling - sad and weepy about a car.  As I walked to the bus stop, this unleashed quite a few more questions.

The bus took quite a while and I was in a rather trashy part of town so the feelings began to turn to doom and gloom.  "Oh my God, I've really done something stupid."

Boarding the bus changed my frame of mind.  This due, in part to the fact that I have fond memories of riding on the bus with my grandmother.  Funny how one's mood can be so quickly and effectively altered by a change in surroundings.

I was ruminating about my relationship with my car - my former car - and how my feelings were probably very reasonable given that the car has been a good friend for three years and that I've had a good relationship with many cars for a long time. 

My wandering thoughts stopped abruptly when the bus driver suddenly began singing. He sang loudly. He sang with an operatic voice. And he sang in Chinese. 

This is exactly the kind of stuff I've been shielding myself from while hiding in my personal transportation pod these years.  It takes giving up your car to be reminded that there are people out there who just spontaneously burst out in song. 

And what's wrong with that?  Really.  At first I was taken aback and shocked and a little embarrassed for the driver.  But nobody else on the bus seemed to have a similar reaction.  That's because they get it.  Not everybody acts like you do.  Not everybody has to act like you do.  It's ok.  It's ok to just start singing in Chinese while you're driving the muni.

The ride home after work was uneventful. And it would have taken a lot to measure up to my ride to work so I anticipated boredom for a few days. I mean, think about the odds...

However on the ride to work this morning, a man not only measured up, he exceeded my expectations for odd distractions.

This guy was in the back of a sparcely populated bus, wearing headphones, talking loudly.  No big deal, he's talking on the phone.

No - he wasn't talking on the phone.  He was talking to himself, or perhaps an imaginary friend.  He was talking about the Spanish Inquisition and then laughing loudly.  Then he began singing ...."..those bare necessities..."  over and over.  It became obvious that the man was either drunk or not in his right mind.

Just like the operatic driver, everyone on the bus ignored this man. No one sat near him.  He had the back to himself.   I wondered how amusing it would be to learn that he was really a psych student in grad school, doing research.  Research on just how many people could sit on a bus and pretend not to notice what sounded like a very loud, raving lunatic in the back seat. 

He will report in his thesis that very many people, in fact all the people on the bus were able to ignore him.  Just as a busload of people were able to ignore the bilingual, singing driver. 

It occurs to me that maybe I'm not going to rejoin the human race as a non-driver.  Maybe I'm going to grow a thick shell and ignore the human race even more than I did in my personal driving pod.

The guy got up. walked to the front of the bus and serenaded the bus driver before he got off.  And he got off right in front of a church.  He might be a lapsed churchgoer. Could that be the condition that drives his behavior? I almost burst into spontaneous applause but did not want to attract his attention.  Just in case he is not a grad student doing research.

I managed to leave work and ride to a dinner engagement, arriving on time, and felt no guilt at accepting a ride home. :)

This was day #2.  363 to go!

GOOD RIDDANCE

I'm now mere hours from giving up the car.  I should be out cruising around with the sun roof open and the radio blasted....spinning brodies on somebody's lawn...laying rubber like a high school kid.

Instead, I'm sitting comfortably on the couch and the car is parked.

Why?  Because I spent this afternoon doing many of the annoying things you do when you begin to seriously consider selling your motor vehicle:

 - mall parking lot
The problem here is that there are too many people in cars, too many people walking around, and all the cars look alike.  So when you don't pay attention to where you parked you're sort of doomed to stroll around like an idiot, dodging cars driven by people not paying attention.  Once in the car, you have to dodge all the idiots strolling around looking for their car, not paying attention.
Even if there was plenty of parking and no people, you'd still have to confront the fact that you're at the mall.  Nothing productive, important, or helpful is apt to happen in or near a mall.  Being there is a mistake.  The parking lot issues are ancillary annoyances.

 - grocery store parking lot
Too many cars and the spots are much too small.  Generally people here are in a rush, tired, and irritated that they're going into a building to spend too much money on unhealthy, bland, stale, and/or tainted food.....which an adolescent bagger will THROW into the bag in reverse order (cans on top of cookies).

 - main thoroughfare during rush hour
How do some people get a driver's license?  It's so irritating.  Tomorrow it will simply be amusing as I watch from a metal behemoth on rails.  Today it got me so annoyed.  So annoyed. If you're going to drive, DRIVE.  If you're going to sing, consume food and/or beverages, talk on the phone, sight see, put on make-up, or go into a brain freeze, stay out of the car.

 - gas station
Never enough room.  Long lines to pay a preposterous amount of money to keep driving in crowded, small parking lots or on busy, congested streets with morons who can't drive.

 - crowded street with parking meters
Got stuck in some gridlock caused by a driver displaying unwarranted importance by blocking a lane on a street with perpendicular parking, providing no room to maneuver around... which caused an impatient muni driver to decide to drive around into the oncoming lane....which worked until he couldn't clear the car prior to reaching the stupid woman who just kept driving and did not let the bus come around......  This so the driver with unwarranted importance could get a metered parking spot.

 - parking meters that charge a quarter for each 5 minutes
Enduring all this and finally finding a parking spot only to realize that you don't have enough money to pay the meter to cover your time in the grocery and are probably going to end up with a $50 parking ticket.

So - I repelled another urge.  This one to drive down to the waterfront and let the car go into the bay.  Just give it a push and watch it sink.  Common sense prevailed and I chose option #2: drive home and settle in on the couch.

I am sure I will eat these words but I'm going to say it anyway: 
THANK GOD I'M GIVING UP MY CAR. 

Tomorrow I turn it in at 7:30 a.m...impervious to gridlock and lunatic drivers. :)

Rookie moves...

Today's trek to the ballpark on public transportation started out as a total DISASTER.

Left the house and dashed to catch the oncoming N car.

Watched the driver as he stared at me as he slowly cruised past me.

Began running up the street to catch the car at the stop but dropped stuff out of my bag trying to get to my phone.  Got to the stop just as the N was pulling away.

Within 2 minutes of leaving my house, I was standing on a corner in the pouring rain, feeling damp as my "rain" jacket identified itself as semi-permeable, juggling an umbrella, a phone, and wet stuff in a cavernous messenger bag.

Rookie moves.

I considered walking back home, changing into dry clothes, and pulling the car out of the garage.  After all, I still have three days of driving left.  Mercifully an approaching N helped me resist the urge to throw in the towel.

This is a prelude to the days and weeks ahead if I don't do some planning. No way I'll last even a week bumbling around like this. 

1: figure out where the muni stops and stand on the right corner
2: run or pilfer through your bag - but pick one, not both
3: get a bag with more compartments and pockets so it's easier to find stuff
4: wear waterproof clothing, not water resistant clothing
5: turn off the phone - release the shackles.

The return trip was flawless.  It was nice to be among humanity - wet and in close proximity due to crowds - but nice nonetheless.

nD-DAY is now two days away.  Serious driving day tomorrow.....shopping for a real raincoat!

nD-DAY minus four....

My resolve to remain vehicle-free for one year grows stronger when I spend the time to discuss intentions and motivations.  So far everyone has the same initial reaction:
"You're giving up your car?  Boy are you craaaaaazeeeee!"

Incredulity first.
Then giggles and smiles at such a silly idea.
Musings about possible positive outcomes.
Enthusiasm as the number of possible positive outcomes increases exponentially.
It takes some time but we finally get to the edge of a serious discussion about equity.

Last night I dined with several young people. We celebrated: one high school graduation; one completion of the first year of college; one continuing quest toward law school dreams; one moving forward to an art career; and one giant project of self control, denial, and personal growth. 

Great food and marvelous conversation of hope and joy and promise for the future.

Manna to fuel dreams.

Then today it rained most of the day. More moments of panic.  I might actually have to get WET when I have no car.  What am I about to do to myself??????

How quickly any threat to a comfortable status quo can countermine the most noble-minded aspirations.

At least for those who have been blessed with a comfortable status quo.

The final weekend begins.  How many memorable car experiences can I cram into two days?

nD-DAY minus 6

I know.  Two days ago it was nD-DAY minus 7 and it doesn't add up.  Already I've made a mathematical error.  No surprise there.

Often, and throughout my life, I've failed to reach competence when working with numbers.  I excel at lining stuff up into neat rows, geometric clusters, and such.  But the adding up to reach a specific there-is-no-other-answer answer...not so good.  Jagged lines, blended hues, hmmmmmm, it could be this, might be that....much more aptitude there.

I have five more days with a car.  On the sixth day I drop it off and walk away.

And on the SEVENTH DAY????? Rest seems appropriate. Start planning the sequel to Day of Lethargy.

Speaking of lethargy - I failed to BLOG yesterday.  I felt very disappointed in myself this morning. - OH NO... I forgot to BLOG!!"  However I recovered quickly.

No rules. No panic. No car.  It's just no car.  No big deal.

Yesterday I spent the day in my car and tried to maintain an awareness and appreciation that my friend and I are soon to part.  Meetings. Errands. Fun excursions.  The kind of stuff that one cannot do easily and/or comfortably without a car. 

The future conundrum seemed like an amusement until this afternoon.  I was driving home into the afternoon sun and wind, safe and warm in my small, mobile box when my first moment of angst snuck up on me.

I am still learning how to follow my feelings but managed to realize that this will end up being more than just a silly game of denial.  I will cross a frontier or two of self-awareness.  To wit I realized that it's not just the wind and chill my vehicle protects me from.   It's also all those people standing around waiting for the bus. This feeling of discomfort  grew not from what will be given up but from what I will suddenly ADD to my daily routine.

Those people.  Some of them might be dangerous or sick people.  A few will be unwashed and disheveled people.  A whole bunch of them are likely to be annoying people.  I will have to be among them.  I may become one of them.

Is this what I had in mind when came up with this brilliant idea? 

Worse yet, I will become a pedestrian.  Fine with that.  But could I possibly become one of those obnoxious pedestrians who steps right in the path of a slowly-moving car and then tries to stare down the driver who was simply attempting to make a turn with the signal and the right-of-way?  I don't get it.  Ninety percent of the people who do that are drivers themselves....walking to their car.... to become one of the drivers annoyed and assaulted by an obnoxious pedestrian.  It will be a sad day when I have to report that I've assaulted a law-abiding driver with a WTF arm-waving stare down.  Sad indeed.

On a more happy note, several GOALS were reached today:

1) cancelled membership in the auto club.  Cha-ching$$$$$
2) wrote "no longer the owner" on the back of the DMV registration renewal form.  Cha-ching$$$$$
3) cancelled auto insurance as of six days from now.  Cha-ching $$$$$$

Giddy.  That's the only way I can describe the feeling.  Very giddy.