nD-DAY minus 6

I know.  Two days ago it was nD-DAY minus 7 and it doesn't add up.  Already I've made a mathematical error.  No surprise there.

Often, and throughout my life, I've failed to reach competence when working with numbers.  I excel at lining stuff up into neat rows, geometric clusters, and such.  But the adding up to reach a specific there-is-no-other-answer answer...not so good.  Jagged lines, blended hues, hmmmmmm, it could be this, might be that....much more aptitude there.

I have five more days with a car.  On the sixth day I drop it off and walk away.

And on the SEVENTH DAY????? Rest seems appropriate. Start planning the sequel to Day of Lethargy.

Speaking of lethargy - I failed to BLOG yesterday.  I felt very disappointed in myself this morning. - OH NO... I forgot to BLOG!!"  However I recovered quickly.

No rules. No panic. No car.  It's just no car.  No big deal.

Yesterday I spent the day in my car and tried to maintain an awareness and appreciation that my friend and I are soon to part.  Meetings. Errands. Fun excursions.  The kind of stuff that one cannot do easily and/or comfortably without a car. 

The future conundrum seemed like an amusement until this afternoon.  I was driving home into the afternoon sun and wind, safe and warm in my small, mobile box when my first moment of angst snuck up on me.

I am still learning how to follow my feelings but managed to realize that this will end up being more than just a silly game of denial.  I will cross a frontier or two of self-awareness.  To wit I realized that it's not just the wind and chill my vehicle protects me from.   It's also all those people standing around waiting for the bus. This feeling of discomfort  grew not from what will be given up but from what I will suddenly ADD to my daily routine.

Those people.  Some of them might be dangerous or sick people.  A few will be unwashed and disheveled people.  A whole bunch of them are likely to be annoying people.  I will have to be among them.  I may become one of them.

Is this what I had in mind when came up with this brilliant idea? 

Worse yet, I will become a pedestrian.  Fine with that.  But could I possibly become one of those obnoxious pedestrians who steps right in the path of a slowly-moving car and then tries to stare down the driver who was simply attempting to make a turn with the signal and the right-of-way?  I don't get it.  Ninety percent of the people who do that are drivers themselves....walking to their car.... to become one of the drivers annoyed and assaulted by an obnoxious pedestrian.  It will be a sad day when I have to report that I've assaulted a law-abiding driver with a WTF arm-waving stare down.  Sad indeed.

On a more happy note, several GOALS were reached today:

1) cancelled membership in the auto club.  Cha-ching$$$$$
2) wrote "no longer the owner" on the back of the DMV registration renewal form.  Cha-ching$$$$$
3) cancelled auto insurance as of six days from now.  Cha-ching $$$$$$

Giddy.  That's the only way I can describe the feeling.  Very giddy.